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Me Too Terrorists

The latest tape from Osama bin Laden claims originality in their plot to use airplanes as weapons in the 9/11 terrorist attack against the United States. Anyone who has read some history on the Nazi war plans to attack America will certainly roll their eyes at Osama’s blatant theft and disregard for historical truth.

Towards the end of the Reich’s reign in Germany, Hitler’s cabinet planned an elaborate scheme to send airplanes to America on a bomber run. The technology at the time was for wooden frame aircraft, so the Nazi’s realized that they could not get a bomber across the Atlantic and return it home. Hitler didn’t care about that detail, so he decided to let the bombers crash into the skyscrapers of New York City. Thus was born the America Bomber project in war torn Germany.

Needless to say, Hitler’s plan failed miserably. There was no German technology that would allow them to carry any payload and fuel enough to make the bombers lethal in their strike. Even with an attempt to make it a sea-landing plane to refuel, and an ingenious idea to do a mid-air refueling, the German defense contractors could not make it work. To that end, Hitler abandoned the project in lieu of the ever so clever ballistic missile.

“Me Too,” says Osama bin Laden, with his tired old voice. “Me Too.” So desperate for recognition and respect, Osama has to revert back to pre-adolescent vanity to roust his troops and gain more followers for his cult. Osama “Me Too” bin Laden claiming original ownership of this America Bomber plot is a testament to his absurd mental state. Osama regards himself as a master strategist. Yet, his greatest strategy was to steal a strategy from a cabinet of master strategists who were able to conquer nearly all of Europe. How is that masterful? Oh yeah, masterful book reading. Osama “Me Too” bin Laden, master book reader and scholar of historical military strategy. Look out world, he’ll throw his book at you.

Is Osama competing with other terrorist factions to rally enrollment? Maybe Al Qaeda is having a slumping year for the suicide bomber squad and “Me Too” needs to build the public brand. Are we in a “Me Too” state of global terrorism, where each faction must compete with each other to gain more body-bombers? When are we going to get the first terrorist commercial – “Join the holiest of holy body-bomber squad and fight the evil western dictatorships! Our bombs blow better! We have VIP passes in Heaven!” How about Nielsen ratings for terrorist affinity?

You don’t want that crazy Jihadist, Osama “Me Too” bin Laden, to come knocking on your door, so you better disavow any support of this posting. If you don’t, then he’ll likely pull some other master strategy out of the annuls of history and lay down the smackdown. He’s really clever like that…

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